My friend Frederick Woodruff, a very smart guy here on Substack, asked us to talk about our “bad” astrology charts. I copied my reply to his question from his site, because instead of my usual preaching, it’s rather funny, and I like me funny.
I love to comply with this frequently asked question because I have a supremely bad chart.
So bad, in fact, that as a beginning astrologer I had the opportunity to show my chart to Dennis Harness, a famous astrologer. He looked at it for a few minutes. With baited breath, I awaited a pearl of wisdom. But no! He handed me the page and quietly turned away without one single word.
I lay claim to shitty my chart.
And if challenge makes one spiritual, then I am the Lady Jesus! But only for a minute or two, now and then, and only recently, in small increments, when I manage to get out of my own way, rise to the occasion, which is also challenging because my cumbersome mind that continues thinking, regardless of reality.
My ruling planet is in the 12th square to Pluto. So I can be a pedantic preaching asshole. And have been. Plus, they are in fixed signs, so there's that hardheaded crap. Slow learner. Then there is the issue of my Gemini Sun in a T-square to Jupiter and Saturn. Let's discuss bi-polarity! Been that, done there.
Moving on... Try a Moon conjunct Neptune and S. Node In the 5th - Square Uranus in the money house. Pity my children! Two lost boys. It seems I love ‘em and leave ‘em and wait for money to fall from the sky, or the next lover.
A tale of woe, I know. But not really because it turns out that I love a challenge, I am strong like an ox, though allergic to most everything. In spite of the stresses and challenges, or because of them, I have led an interesting life. The Chinese curse "May you be born into interesting times" is actually not a curse at all, if one can learn how to count the blessings. This is not Pollyanna talking. This a pragmatic dogmatist leaping from one pedestal to the next.
Jupiter trine Uranus. I always seem to fall out of the shit and on to a flatbed truck full of roses traveling away from the shit.
Then there is Sun trine the moon. Well, that's just fine by me. And back to the Moon Neptune S. Node. I can't seem to remember much of my past, which is a huge bonus with that insane track record.
Attitude matters. Instead of calling squares and oppositions "bad", I call them workouts and reflections. Squares require a narrow focus with applied stress. Squares are Pilates exercises. Throw yourself into the pose and feel the burn. Oppositions are psychological reflections because they are like funhouse mirrors. If you spot it you got it.
Rather than characterize these troubled aspects as bad, I prefer to view them as stove tops. When they are on, don't touch, cook dinner. When they are off, one can put the cutting board on top of the stove and use it as another work surface.
In closing, It seems to me that knowing where the shit lies is a good thing. Knowing where not to step is a good thing. My biggest problem seems to be remembering where the shit is located since I have an extreme case of CRS (can't remember shit) disease, indicative of Moon/Neptune/South Node conjunction.
SDAM stands for Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory and is often characterized by a lifelong inability to vividly recollect or re-experience personal past events.
I recently learned about this phenomenon. What a relief to stop trying do a thing that I am incapable of doing. Life continues to offer up morsels that delight and justify my case study in functional neuroticism.
It’s fun and easy if you know how! Blame it on the Moon.
Blessings Fredrick, and thank you for your intriguing intellectual offerings and enlivening questions.